[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok
i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”
i fell in love with you the way flappy bird hits the ground… hard and fast.
idk?? what pls be specific
ur eyes are so pretty and ur mega hot
omg omg thank you
when people have really nice clear faces i want punch myself
i actually had this conversation today
Teacher: “Why couldn’t you do homework?”
Me: I was watching something important
I DID meet a fake geek girl once. Turned out she was in fact an assortment of squirrels in a trenchcoat.
Those squirrels sure did know a lot about Batman, though.
U know when you were a kid and won a game in first place and there was that little bitch who went “first is the worst second is the best” like how the fuck did that even make sense
i’m as the kids these days say, “lame as fuck”